[ Kaspar shakes his head at that, reaching a free hand for van Zieks. Whatever part of him is closest to receive the warm squeeze of his hand. He is quiet, but fine. The concern has him fetching himself more tea instead of the final retreat he'd clearly started. He doesn't deserve the pity. It eats at him, causing his chest to feel hallowed and barren.
But selfishly, he likes the comfort, finds he yearns for it on some level. It eases the feeling, but withdraws him for the moment. Kaspar suffered, like many Groscians, though at times he felt as though he was the only one that realized they'd become murderers.
Kaspar already forgave himself, as his previously ignored words to van Zieks might hint. But there would never be a way to avoid the memories completely. The air almost takes on the thin quality of the depths, the stench of it all comes back to him so fast he nearly wavers until the smell of tea overtakes it.
He doesn't sit again, stilling a moment. Another deep breath, quiet and drawn. Sipping at his new cup, the warmth starts ro return to his face and he speaks again if van Zieks is patient this time too. ]
... I welcome your concerns, your thoughts. With more men like you, there would be less need for men like me. I believe.
Cw war stuff, death and blood, a little visceral
But selfishly, he likes the comfort, finds he yearns for it on some level. It eases the feeling, but withdraws him for the moment. Kaspar suffered, like many Groscians, though at times he felt as though he was the only one that realized they'd become murderers.
Kaspar already forgave himself, as his previously ignored words to van Zieks might hint. But there would never be a way to avoid the memories completely. The air almost takes on the thin quality of the depths, the stench of it all comes back to him so fast he nearly wavers until the smell of tea overtakes it.
He doesn't sit again, stilling a moment. Another deep breath, quiet and drawn. Sipping at his new cup, the warmth starts ro return to his face and he speaks again if van Zieks is patient this time too. ]
... I welcome your concerns, your thoughts. With more men like you, there would be less need for men like me. I believe.